Thursday, 10 November 2011

July 21, 1640

This is what happened on the 21st of July, in the early 40s. By early, it refers to the 15th Century. (AD, of course)

Two franchises, namely the Medieval Nail Cutters and the Facial Hair XI, wanted to show each other who the real boss was, so the decided to have a friendly cricket match. Of course, since the trend back then was obviously things like Bull Fighting, Gladiator Circuses and Chariot Racing, which didn't last very long, I presume, it was decided that a Twenty-over-a-side match would be played. But recent evidences state that T20 is not very old, but I'm pretty sure this one happened as mentioned.

In the pre-match press conference, the MNC captain, Charles, said boldly,"Ye FHXI are complete unicorns! Of what they have accomplished over ye past hither, they will not be forgiven. This time, by her majesty's beards, they are going to ye ditch-waters. Mark me word."
To his reply, the KHXI captain, Charles (yes, Charles again), said,"Thee mustn't insult our team. We have got a rebuilt batting line up. Ganymede is going to make way for Oliver. We have had enough of him, Ganymede. Oliver's 60 years of experience will prove to be more useful than Ganymede's pinch-hitting abilities. We have also given up on our medium pacers. We have now auctioned (at a cap price of $50 Billion) for fresh fast bowlers, all aged between 40 and 45, ye perfect time for youth to showcase their talent, on a village stage. Ye perfect blend of youth, an' experience."
To which Charles (MNC), quickly replies, "Let's see you prove that on ye cricket pitch."

The match begins. (Cricinfo Style)

Toss, MNC who chose to bat.
Umpires: Daryl Harper and Francis Du Preez.
Venue: Duke's Cricket Ground, Old London.
DRS: Only hotspot, no hawk-eye, as usual.

Playing XI:
Adam, Tendulkar, Charles (wk) (c), Fred, Pattinson, Pope Johan XX, Lionel, Lampson, Smith, Potter, Thomas.
Peter, Alden, Goshua, Ronald, Dennis, Julius, Jacques, Pope Johan XXI, Charles (c), Baxter, Egbert.

1st Innings
2.1 Baxter to Tendulkar, OUT, The fast in swinging yorker does the trick. Tendulkar, goes after scoring 3 runs. Inexperienced man, but the selectors realised his potential and picked him. Today, nobody regrets it. Besides, he was only minus three hundred and thirty four years old.
Score is now 7/1 in 2.1 overs (RR ~3.4)
3.4 Egbert to Charles, FOUR WIDES, the bowler completely screws in up and bowls a ball that goes over the batsman's and the wicket keeper's head. The bowler being an off spinner, this was not completely expected.
Score: 13/1 in 3.4 overs (RR 3.8)
5th Over Maiden over that.
Score: 15/1 from 5.0 overs (RR 3.0)
6.1,6.2,6.3 HAT-TRICK from Charles. Lets call it the Captain's knock.
Score 17/4 in 6.3 overs (RR 2.6)
The rest of the over goes runless.
Rain has arrived. Match reduced to 7 overs a side.
Top scorer: Adam, 8 not out.
Best Bowling: Charles 3-3.
FHXI need 18 to win from 7 overs.

2nd Innings
An umbrella field of 4 slips and 3 gullies.
0.4 Thomas to Alden, 1 run, square cut, hit the umpire (Daryl Harper), who fainted and had to be taken to the hospital.
Score 3/0 after one over. (RR 3.0)
1.1 Lampson to Peter, no run, beautiful bouncer there, well left.
1.2 Lampson to Peter, FOUR, Slightly full and nicely pulled. Lampson seems angry. O, and we see some verbal, 15th century style.
1.3 Lampson to Peter, OUT, Lampson gets his revenge. Sweet. Based on lipreading, he might have shouted 'Patagonian p*tticoat', 'nic*mpoop', 'sauc*ge' and 'Troj*n'
Score 9/1 after 2 overs. (RR 4.5)
Need 9 from 5 overs.
2.2 Lionel to Ronald, driven to Pope Johan XX at long off, who promptly misfields it and lets it go for four. And you are not allowed to question the parish. You will be executed in the right areas.
FHXI need just another 5 more runs to win.
4.5 Pattinson to Julius, an edge down to third man for a single.
5.2 Smith to Julius, a leg bye.
KHXI need 3 more buns to win.
Oops, it's rain again and the match has been called off with MNC winning by Duckworth-Lewis.

1 comment:

  1. Beautiful post! I doubt if I have read anything better than this in recent times, from you! Do me a favour and post some other match commentary and pre-match-cum-post-match talk. Oh, and if I haven't mentioned it, this should be up there on Page 2.