Monday, 19 September 2011

What Champion's League? Really?

There are a few people in this world who claim that a certain 'Champion's League' is currently under progress. I had never heard about it until then. There's just too much cricket these days. Someone like me just can't keep track of it. But what now I accepted an offer to be giving bi-weekly updates for the dim blokes who can't afford to watch the tournament themselves. If you seem to be one of those people, then you might as well hold on to this blog link like the way you hold your teddy bear when you go to bed. Your cheeks are red, aren't they? Besides, I am not the kind who would easily let slip some serious bucks. (not for me, for the CLT20 players).

So here is the official pseudo team by team analysis of the top all the contenders for the coveted trophy.

Chennai Super Kings. Where else to start from the defending champions? Well, for a start, their captain. MSD has just come out of an aftermath of a deadly England series and a tongue injury. He might prove to be the key man (only beside N Srini) to sculpt another defeat (that word has been removed on the advice of one of N Srini's subordinates who claimed that the word 'defeat' was not in his boss' dictionary) win.
Key bloopers: Ashwin, Raina and probably Bollinger.

Trinidad & Tobago: Favorites for any West Indian patriotic person. Captained by the formidable Darren Ganga who took them home (nearly) in '09. I'd like to see them make it large.
Key bloopers: Dinesh Ramdin, Ravi Rampaul and Keiron Pollard (whose absence will be filthily felt).

Somerset: They look a good team, don't they? England county cricket has always been fascinating to me. They were unfortunate to miss out last year. What else is there to say? They haven't qualified yet, but I'm sure they will.
Key bloopers: Wait, there's lots that I've missed. Murali Kartik is eyeing an India comeback. (Has he retired already?)(If yes, there might be a certain 'Afridi' element in him). Kieswetter, Thomas and van der Merwe might prove useful. Again, Keiron Pollard's absence will be felt.

Cape Cobras: I like this team a lot. But I am still sure that they will prove to be the replicates of the players who represent the country that they represent. By making priceless exits during the crucial knock-out stages. With Gibbs past his prime, they might have unlocked an X-factor (by dropping him and playing Justin Ontong instead). Besides, any purist would like Steyn hurling some at 145 k's.
Key bloopers: JP Duminy, Langeveldt and Steyn. (Keiron Pollard's absence will still be felt)(though he isn't/wasn't part of the squad)

Mumbai Indians: Sachin got injured, didn't he? That's enough for Mumbai to bag the wooden spoon. Injuries from Rohit Sharma and Harbhajan Singh also follow logically. The men in blue require match-winning performances from the youngsters and Ambani Jr.
Key bloopers: Lasith Malinga, Ambati Rayudu and Munaf Patel. Fortunately, Keiron Pollard's absence will not be felt. However, the absence of his match-winning abilities will be felt.

South Australia: The Redbacks are awesome. I personally really like them. Their ability to play Twenty20 will definitely be their biggest asset for this tournament. The speed demon (or the extras demon), as he is popularly referred to by his contemporaries might have a career changing tour. He probably won't. I don't know, I'm not an astrologer.
Key bloopers: Daniel Christian, Klinger and Tait himself. Not to mention, No Pollard this time around.

Royal Challengers: Vettori is too over-reliant on the salient services of Sir Chris Gayle. He single-handedly double-handedly almost won us the IPL. I'm a Bangalorean. Go RCB! The men in red and gold (and sometimes even green and blue) are top contenders if all their players play well. That is, however, a basic criterion for any champion.
Key bloopers: de Villiars, Dilshan's Pallu Scoop and Zaheer Khan Virat Kohli.

Liecestershire Foxes: Surprisingly enough, their qualification has blessed them and all their players.
Key bloopers: Razzaq, Hoggard and McDonald. (Don't tempt me to eat [at] you[r place], McDonald)

Auckland Aces: They dropped Martin Crowe. They aught to have a devastating attack if they can afford to make such a move. But they really have to fight the odds if they want to win something.
Key bloopers: Hopkins, Kyle Mills and Guptill.

New South Wales Blues: They came out of the blues in the inaugural season and they might do it again. Shane Watson looks polished.
Key bloopers: Hauritz, Steven Smith and Watson.

Warriors: A nice team. The warriors have had a good season so far, all they have to do is unleash their talent and they will succeed.
Key bloopers: Botha, Boucher and Tsotsobe.

Ruhuna and Kolkota Knight Riders: Well, lets just say that every tournament needs minnows.

Hope you enjoyed it.
You can also follow me on twitter as @3rdUmp.

Friday, 9 September 2011

India Injured XI

The England v India series cannot be called a delight by an average Indian cricket fan, because they have been losing every single match played till now. (I have written this before the 3rd ODI at The Oval, and you can't be too sure of  India emerging triumphant.) The only one to blame is definitely Jonathan Trott. Reason: It's obvious that he is the one to blame for anything in the universe that goes wrong. Even The Chuck-Fleetwood Smiths would agree.

Moving on, we cannot ignore the fact that some of key players are injured. Ok, not some, lots. In fact, we can make an entire team of Injured player from the Eng v India 2011 tour. Here it is.

Virendar Sehwag and Gautam Gambhir: India's best ever opening pair. Best, at getting injured. Sehwag has been suffering since the IPL and Gautam got a blow on his head, while attempting a catch.
Sachin Tendulkar: I mentioned him in my last blog, and I'm mentioning it again. He's on a hat-trick! He's also on a diet to cure himself of toe-swelling.
Rohit Sharma again misses a golden opportunity for playing for his country by breaking his finger. He will fly back saying that he went to England to defend the ball. Just once.
Yuvraj Singh has hit the jackpot with some injury which I fail to remember.
MS Dhoni (C)(WK) just bit his tongue and is declared unfit for the next 30 seconds.
Chateshwar Pujara handily avoids the trouble of visiting England by going to the hospital for a surgery.
Harbhajan Singh has stretched his upper abdomen a bit and want's to see his mommy back in Punjab.
Zaheer Khan asked his astrologer how he would fare at Lord's. The astrologer, without the slightest of clues, insisted that Zac must return to India before Day 4 of the Lord's Test. Or else he would be killed. Zaheer niftily faked a Hamstring and returned home.
Ishant Sharma: the tips of his hair got injured. And probably his arm.
Ashish Nehra took a brave decision, by deciding to get injured, prior to the tour. Intelligent foresight.\

What a well equipped team it looks, doesn't it?

In the meantime, a brand new league called  Z Premier League (ZPL) has been started and I am their Exclusive press person. No match will be telecast and no news channel/paper will it feature in. All of this because they want to show N Srinivasan, what 'Low Budget' actually means. So, as I am their representative, the Eight Teams who will be playing for the ultimate prize - which is a donut.

  1. South Sudanian Sledgehammers (SSS)
  2. Peruvian Polo-snatchers (PPS)
  3. Mighty XI Qatar (MXIQ)
  4. Western Warlocks (WW)
  5. Martian Octopuses (MO)
  6. Cashew-nut Cannibals (CNC)
  7. Tibetian Jack Screws (TJS)          and
  8. Victorious Misers (VM)
I will be giving you all the updates. Keep Following.

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