Friday 12 August 2011

Speaking of Vaseline...

...here are some other cricketing diseases that may be ranked next to the overshadowed-by-Ian-Bell-run-out Laxman-Broad-Vaughan Vaseline controversy.

  1. Ravi Shastri helmet incident: Well, not many know of this. (Probably not even Shastri himself. Ravi Shastri was caught going toward the crease, wearing his helmet reverse. i.e. The grill portion was behind him and his eyes were blocked. In the same match, he hit 6-sixes and the helmet story was overshadowed. He allegedly hit those sixes, wearing the helmet as described. Please do not over-rule the fact that his wingspan was greater than the circumference of the boundary line. Big guy.
  2. Dennis Lillee and his aluminium bat: We all know about that...No need for explanation.
  3. Damien Martyn and his banned haircut: Good times. Well, this guy got a funny haircut and the ICC banned it. Maybe next in the line should be Malinga. No wait - his ludacris hair is a necessity for tormenting the batsman.
  4. Alvin Kallicharan and his stuffed duckling: This was not a real duckling. It was a stuffed doll. He once put it in his pocket as a superstition and it looked like his thigh had swollen and he was forced to retire hurt. Then he revealed that it was a stuffed toy and had to abandon such ideas for the rest of his career*.
  5. Pun out!: Michael Beer was once dismissed pun out (not run out) because of his last name.
The bracket opened in point 1. has not been closed yet. ) Now it has.
*- Career here means Test Career. This is because AK used a stuffed duck in his highly successful bungee-jumping-instructor career. The duck acted as AK's only student and thus AK had a 100% success rate in this career.

PPCQ E4:

Slightly different format. There will be 2 questions and the correct options when put together will give rise to two letters which form the initials of a famous Test Cricketer.

1. Which of the following equipment is NOT used while playing cricket:
                    (a) A bat
                    (b) A helmet
                    (c) A super elastic wrist band
                    (d) A pillow.

2. In the four cricketers listed below, who is a fast bowler:
                    (a) Sunny Gavaskar
                    (b) Dale Steyn
                    (c) Pope Gregory the XI
                    (d) Lionel Messi

If you have guessed the correct answer which is (d) and (b), you have won yourself an opportunity to guess the player who has those initials. So with the initials D & B, make a famous test player's name.
So, if you guessed Don Bradman - you got it WRONG.
David Boon - Throw yourself in a gutter.
Doggie Bollinger - You're mad.
The right answer is:
Dennis Brookes. The star English batsman has played 1 test in which he scored a magnificent 17 in both innings combined. Beat that!!

Bye bye! 

Tuesday 2 August 2011

What it means to practice at Lord's

After seeing a depressing first two tests as an Indian Cricket fan, let me tell you some things that have never been told to you anytime in your life...

    1. Sachin and son.
As mentioned by various sources in the press, Sachin Tendulkar (or at least that's what the public addresses him as)(Who knows his name might be different)(He might be a spy for the Russian Navy)(Or may be an ancient immortal Fakir who uses magic while playing cricket)(or just a messenger of God)(or an Indian Cricketer)(Anyway, it doesn't matter in this context), has been reported to have been allegedly practicing at Lord's for the past couple of months (Often with his son)(Seldom with Monty Penesar), commuting everyday from his luxurious flat in Regents' Park. He said in an imaginary interview with me, "I am passing all my knowledge about cricket to my extremely talented son. He is likely to go far as a cricketer." Though I did not at that moment understand that passing on means that the knowledge his been given to his son and he no longer possesses it. Which can explain his failure in the Lord's test.

    2. Training at Lord's
Lord's is a peculiar cricket ground. Don't ask me why, I just added that sentence to attract more readers. Anyway, the Englishmen have a strange way to practice at Lord's. The entire team flock at the nursery ground which is behind the media centre like dogs flocking around the last sausage in the world, trying to snatch it from each other, only to find that it had already been eaten. The English players line up, while the couch stands on top of the Media Centre perching on top of it like a medieval Edinburgh knight perching from his hideout. He has a bat in his hand and each of the English players have a genuine leather ball in theirs. So, all these English players (even KP, though he is South African) must climb their way on top of it, hand the ball over the the coach and jump down. The coach will then hit the ball flying into the air, and the player who jumps down, must charge (not as in mobile cell phone charge) towards it and catch it. If he fails to do so, his face will be dipped in a barrel containing pickled oranges. Exception: While all the players have to climb their way up, in the 1980's, Chris Tavare would handily use the recently installed elevator.


    3. The Ghost of WG.
Sachin Tendulkar cribs a lot. He got tired of staying at home and decided to stay with the rest of the team for a change. This time, he got bored of it and decided to go home. And by home he meant - The home of cricket - Lord's. As he was about to fall asleep, he saw the ghost of WG. He decided to follow it and by morning, he found himself in a pile of fake beards.

That concludes my blog for today. OH WAIT I ALMOST FORGOT!! 


PPCQ EPISODE 3!!!


For the compete guide of the PPCQ and the rules and regulations, click here.

Today's question:

Q) When will Episode for of PPCQ be posted?
HINT: I don't know the answer to this myself.

OPTIONS:
  • Late Febtember.
  • Yesterday.
  • None of the above.
  • All of the above.
ANSWERS:
 And the correct option was: None of the above. Actually if patience was an option, then that would have been the right answer.

If you have got it right, then you have won yourself a ONCE-IN-A-LIFE-TIME-OPPORTUNITY TO READ THIS BLOG ALL OVER AGAIN!!!

Congratulations to all those who got it right.

Cheers to everyone else.