Speaking of Vaseline...

...here are some other cricketing diseases that may be ranked next to the overshadowed-by-Ian-Bell-run-out Laxman-Broad-Vaughan Vaseline controversy.

1. Ravi Shastri helmet incident: Well, not many know of this. (Probably not even Shastri himself. Ravi Shastri was caught going toward the crease, wearing his helmet reverse. i.e. The grill portion was behind him and his eyes were blocked. In the same match, he hit 6-sixes and the helmet story was overshadowed. He allegedly hit those sixes, wearing the helmet as described. Please do not over-rule the fact that his wingspan was greater than the circumference of the boundary line. Big guy.
2. Dennis Lillee and his aluminium bat: We all know about that...No need for explanation.
3. Damien Martyn and his banned haircut: Good times. Well, this guy got a funny haircut and the ICC banned it. Maybe next in the line should be Malinga. No wait - his ludacris hair is a necessity for tormenting the batsman.
4. Alvin Kallicharan and his stuffed duckling: This was not a real duckling. It was a stuffed doll. He once put it in his pocket as a superstition and it looked like his thigh had swollen and he was forced to retire hurt. Then he revealed that it was a stuffed toy and had to abandon such ideas for the rest of his career*.
5. Pun out!: Michael Beer was once dismissed pun out (not run out) because of his last name.

The bracket opened in point 1. has not been closed yet. ) Now it has.

*- Career here means Test Career. This is because AK used a stuffed duck in his highly successful bungee-jumping-instructor career. The duck acted as AK's only student and thus AK had a 100% success rate in this career.

PPCQ E4:

Slightly different format. There will be 2 questions and the correct options when put together will give rise to two letters which form the initials of a famous Test Cricketer.

1. Which of the following equipment is NOT used while playing cricket:

                    (a) A bat

                    (b) A helmet

                    (c) A super elastic wrist band

                    (d) A pillow.

2. In the four cricketers listed below, who is a fast bowler:

                    (a) Sunny Gavaskar

                    (b) Dale Steyn

                    (c) Pope Gregory the XI

                    (d) Lionel Messi

If you have guessed the correct answer which is (d) and (b), you have won yourself an opportunity to guess the player who has those initials. So with the initials D & B, make a famous test player's name.

So, if you guessed Don Bradman - you got it WRONG.

David Boon - Throw yourself in a gutter.

Doggie Bollinger - You're mad.

The right answer is:

Dennis Brookes. The star English batsman has played 1 test in which he scored a magnificent 17 in both innings combined. Beat that!!

Bye bye! 

What it means to practice at Lord's

After seeing a depressing first two tests as an Indian Cricket fan, let me tell you some things that have never been told to you anytime in your life...

    1. Sachin and son.
As mentioned by various sources in the press, Sachin Tendulkar (or at least that's what the public addresses him as)(Who knows his name might be different)(He might be a spy for the Russian Navy)(Or may be an ancient immortal Fakir who uses magic while playing cricket)(or just a messenger of God)(or an Indian Cricketer)(Anyway, it doesn't matter in this context), has been reported to have been allegedly practicing at Lord's for the past couple of months (Often with his son)(Seldom with Monty Penesar), commuting everyday from his luxurious flat in Regents' Park. He said in an imaginary interview with me, "I am passing all my knowledge about cricket to my extremely talented son. He is likely to go far as a cricketer." Though I did not at that moment understand that passing on means that the knowledge his been given to his son and he no longer possesses it. Which can explain his failure in the Lord's test.

    2. Training at Lord's
Lord's is a peculiar cricket ground. Don't ask me why, I just added that sentence to attract more readers. Anyway, the Englishmen have a strange way to practice at Lord's. The entire team flock at the nursery ground which is behind the media centre like dogs flocking around the last sausage in the world, trying to snatch it from each other, only to find that it had already been eaten. The English players line up, while the couch stands on top of the Media Centre perching on top of it like a medieval Edinburgh knight perching from his hideout. He has a bat in his hand and each of the English players have a genuine leather ball in theirs. So, all these English players (even KP, though he is South African) must climb their way on top of it, hand the ball over the the coach and jump down. The coach will then hit the ball flying into the air, and the player who jumps down, must charge (not as in mobile cell phone charge) towards it and catch it. If he fails to do so, his face will be dipped in a barrel containing pickled oranges. Exception: While all the players have to climb their way up, in the 1980's, Chris Tavare would handily use the recently installed elevator.


    3. The Ghost of WG.
Sachin Tendulkar cribs a lot. He got tired of staying at home and decided to stay with the rest of the team for a change. This time, he got bored of it and decided to go home. And by home he meant - The home of cricket - Lord's. As he was about to fall asleep, he saw the ghost of WG. He decided to follow it and by morning, he found himself in a pile of fake beards.

That concludes my blog for today. OH WAIT I ALMOST FORGOT!! 


PPCQ EPISODE 3!!!


For the compete guide of the PPCQ and the rules and regulations, click here.

Today's question:

Q) When will Episode for of PPCQ be posted?

HINT: I don't know the answer to this myself.

OPTIONS:

• Late Febtember.
• Yesterday.
• None of the above.
• All of the above.

ANSWERS:

 And the correct option was: None of the above. Actually if patience was an option, then that would have been the right answer.

If you have got it right, then you have won yourself a ONCE-IN-A-LIFE-TIME-OPPORTUNITY TO READ THIS BLOG ALL OVER AGAIN!!!

Congratulations to all those who got it right.

Cheers to everyone else.

Preview of Eng vs. Ind. Part One of a Unology.

Good Morning/Noon/Afternoon/Evening/Night to all my dear viewers. Today I'll be kind enough to:

• Discuss the upcoming India-England series.
• Bring to you the second episode of PPCQ

Apart from these, the matters that I will not be discussing in this post are:

• The recent Mumbai Bomb blasts.
• How to teach your pet rhinoceros to skateboard.
• The current condition of the Archbishop of Canterbury.
• The latest advances in the field of Bungee Jumping

Sorry folks, all those, not here.

Now lets get straight to the topic: India vs. England Sorry, I keep getting my priorities wrong, It's England vs. India. Donkeys last, well, I meant Host first. The greatest event since the dawn of the England-India series. Now we don't know who could possibly this one, but it's still anyone's game. (Anyone as in only England and India)(And maybe former South Africa)(And not anyone else)(Which may include Sri Lanka, Namibia, Ukraine or Cambodia)(And I am over-explaining myself).

Yes, there is lots of news. First and foremost, Virender Sehwag will be missing the first few test matches which means that

• England will have the upper hand (Well, they already do because the average height of English player is greater than that of the Indian players which means that their hands will be above the Indians and therefore will have the 'upper hand')
• India will miss the upper cut.

Also, there might be a slight problem arising if I say that Jack Hobbs and Ian Botham will not be available for the India vs Former SA India vs. England series due to age old problems of aging old.

There is also the issue of Sachin Whatsoeverkar admittedly confessing that he is not thinking about his 100th ton. Any amateur detective can deduce that this means that he will be making his hundred in style at Lord's in the first Test.

And as far as DRS goes, I'm not the one you have to uproach. You see, the BCCI keeps changing their views about DRS as often as Kamran Akmal changes his gloves. Well, very often. So I have made a solemn pledge that I will not follow the developments in DRS for ETERNITY. May the court of law sue me if I don't abide by my decision.

That concludes the first half of my post.

Now for the second part,

Episode #2 of THE POST POST CRICKET QUIZ!


For the compete guide of the PPCQ and the rules and regulations, click here.

Today's Question:

Which two South African test batsmen have the record for the second highest partnership for the First wicket?
HINT: They both play/played for England.

OPTIONS:

1. Cook & Strauss
2. Strauss & Trescothick
3. Cook & Trescothick
4. Grace & Hutton
5. Hobbs & Rhodes
6. Boycott & Gooch
7. Atherton & Tavare
8. Vaughan & Butcher
9. All of the Above
10. None of the Above.

Think

Think

Think

That's It, Time's Up!

And the right answer is:

     5.  Hobbs & Rhodes.

And if you have answered it right, you have won yourself a black and white portrait of Mona Lisa. To claim your prize, call the anonymous Toll free number: 1800-MONA-LISA.

That's all for today!

Cheers!

Reasons for India winning against West Indies. And Episode #1 of PPCQ.

Reasons why India won the tour against West Indies:

• They had a good team.
• They deserved winning.
• They are the No.1 in Test cricket.
• West Indies did not  have a good team.
• The year was not 1975 when the West Indian pace attack was much better than what it is now.
• Sachin Tendulkar did not score a century.
• Darren Sammy was the WI Captain.
• MSD was India's Captain.
• Ravi Rampaul did not fulfill Sir Gary Sobers' prophecy of Rampaul becoming the greatest test bowler of all time.*
• The Umpires were in our favour.
• The commentators' list did not include Ravi Shastri's name. He allegedly opted out of the tour. This is clearly club over country. Talk about Chris Gayle.
• The crew of officials who went to the Caribbean included an Astrologer.
• A mad rampaging rogue elephant did not invade the pitch when India was fielding.

Ah, that concludes the first part of the post.

* - Citation Required

The second and last part contains a reputed interactive online cricket quiz which has lots of prizes!
Welcome to the inaugural episode of: THE POST POST CRICKET QUIZ! (PPCQ)

Rules and Regulations:

• Each contestant must have a piece of white paper and a world-widely-accepted writing instrument. These may include pens, pencils, markers, sketch pens, chalk and feathers dipped partially in ink. These are not allowed: your nose (if running), invisible ink, dice, a cricket bat, a scribe (even if blind), an empty water bottle or your new TV remote.
• You have to hire/buy/arrange your own stop clock and time keeper.
• The time given for each question (though there is only one question) is: As long as you like!
• You have to be in a good mood and not be sulky/depressed when you enter and at all other times during the quiz. (Even if you got the Answer wrong.
• And I forgot to close the bracket.) There, all done.

Here comes the question folks:

Q) Which of the the following was the place which the first ever world cup game between England and India held?
HINT: Yes, It was the one where Sunil Gavaskar cleared the ropes and thrashed the English bowlers with an EXPLOSIVE innings of 36 (not out) of 174 balls. 


Ans)        Is it:

1. M. Chinnaswami Stadium.
2. Sydney Cricket Ground (SCG).
3. Old Trafford.
4. Pallekele. (If properly spelt)
5. Karachi
6. Sharjah.
7. Lord's.
8. Kingsmead Durban.
9. All of the above.
10. None of the above.

Now time for fellow contestants to jot down their preferred answer. If you are a contestant, please read on only after you have completed filling in the answer.
.
.
.
Now, Ladies and Gentlemen, the time you have all been waiting for, the answer discussion session!


For the question stated above the correct answer was:

   7.   Lord's.

Congratulations to all those contestants (if any) if you have got it right. You have won yourself a pat on your back! Hope you enjoyed your prize!


That's it for today and I hope to see you next time on: THE POST POST CRICKET QUIZ!

Cheers!